While writing your own wedding vows might make you feel a bit nervous, it might end up being one of the most memorable experiences on your wedding day. 

Plus, the quiet moments you spend writing your vows can be a lovely way to pause and reflect during the chaos of planning your wedding. 

The challenge of describing the many reasons why you love your partner in one perfectly articulated speech may seem insurmountable, but with a little planning and preparation, it will be no problem at all. Here are some of our top tips for writing your wedding vows. 


Talk it through with your fiancé 

First, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about writing your vows. It’s not for everyone, so much make sure you’re both on board. Then discuss the length and overall tone of the vows. Will you choose to be serious and heartfelt, or funny and light? 

Many couples like to keep their vows a secret from their future spouse until their wedding day, but it’s a good idea to discuss at least a few points. Having a basic idea beforehand helps ensure a nice flow on your wedding day. 

Make it personal

The whole idea behind writing your own wedding vows is to make sure that they are specially designed just for you and your partner. Let your unique personality shine. You can take whatever tone you please – whether you want to be sentimental, romantic, or humorous. Don’t be afraid to crack a few jokes, or shed a few tears. 

There’s no need to force it, just be yourself and speak directly from the heart. This is a great opportunity to pour your heart out. Nothing is “too much” when it comes to your wedding vows, and don’t forget to tell your partner how much they’re loved. 

Get inspired 

A great place to start if you are having trouble writing the vows is to share a sweet personal story or anecdote about you and your future spouse. Perhaps describe an adventure you’d shared, or how you met. 

Think about memories that you have shared that bring you joy and make you feel warm and fuzzy. Consider all of the ways they improve your life, the little things they’ve done for you throughout your time together make great points to discuss during your vows. 

Another great way to get inspired is to play some of your special songs, look through old photos, or get in the wedding spirit by browsing wedding websites like Fairytale Brides and look at their stunning wedding dresses

Bring your vows into your future 

After telling a few of your special moments from the past, consider mentioning your joy in moving forward with your partner. What are you the most excited about? Stay true to yourself and the dreams you have for your life moving forward with your spouse. 

Breaking away from tradition

Writing your own vows can be a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony, however, if you are religious or prefer to stick to a more traditional route, you can certainly do so while still adding personal touches here and there. 

How to know when it’s too much?

While it’s great to show personality in your wedding vows, make sure that you stay sincere and keep the tone of your desire to commit to a life together. It’s all about striking the right balance. 

As far as length is concerned, it’s your wedding – so you can say as much or as little as you’d like. You will want to make sure that you stick to a basic structure, and when in doubt keep it short and sweet. 

There is no point in boring your guests with an hour-long speech. You can always save a few special vows to share privately with your spouse. 

Practice and stay calm

Practice makes perfect, as they say! Give yourself plenty of time to write your vows so that you’re able to rehearse before the big day. Leaving it to the last minute can create unwanted pressure on yourself, which you certainly want to stay away from on your wedding day. 

Read your vows ahead of time, out loud, so that you can get a feel for the flow and pace. This will make you more comfortable when you speak in front of your guests and your spouse. 

Remember to relax. This is a beautiful opportunity to share your love. There is no need to memorize your vows, you can read them off of cards, or special wedding stationery and have them framed afterward. 

Your wedding day is about you, so take a deep breath, and speak your love!